Awan Symphaty Blues

Just sits on my tongue
like a communion wafer
like a fluttering butterfly
like a holy sentence

I found myself staring
at the full moon
like a child naked at birth
wet with alcohol and semen

I don't want to say this
I don't want to hurt you

I have known you forever
like a tear hanging suspended
from a blue eyelash
like a chinese junk sailing the ocean
then sinking...

today when we were talking
I watched your fingernails
and I wanted to kiss you
I wanted to feel like Adam
in the Garden with the taste of wet hair
fresh in his mouth

I wanted to love you
I want to love you

the flaws of my beloved
are beautiful
as blue as the grass
where I saw you lying naked
for the very first time
in that Garden of Beginnings

I walked through the crowded streets
of the city and I was haunted
by the smoky bars
the unfriendly churches of
the after-dusk pilgrims
and I couldn't find you

all that remains is the echo
of the blue tobacco smoke
above the deep blue sheets
of my tidy bed

I know I've lost you